Something I've learnt, there's the normal way of getting ready for a night out, then there's my way. Run home, quick shave leaving me with blood dripping down my legs, top up day old makeup applied at 7am for work, lashings more mascara, take down hair, batiste like a crazy woman, shake it around like willow smith and out the door.
Working a double shift on a Saturday until 10:30 is not exactly ideal. Knowing I was gonna see my ex for the first time was even less ideal. That just added to my pressure to look good, not even good, I wanted to look HOT and I had approximately 30 minutes to achieve this, pretty sure even barbie needs more than 30 minutes.
Jumped in the cab, checking manically through my clutch when I'm in the taxi, no matter how many times previous I have gone through my mental checklist, phone, keys, ID, card, lipstick, money for taxi, Shit. Oh nope it's in the side pocket. I always have to do this. I go through it every time and funnily enough I've never actually forgotten anything, as of yet. Upon arriving at my destination, my friends were already well and truly sozzled, fair play, can't say I blamed them. Long story short, Its no fun being the only sober one so a few too many jagerbombs later and I had well and truly taken care of the matter. A night out for me can either go one of two ways, I drink too much and end up on the nearest sofa falling asleep or I drink too much and end up resembling a Duracell bunny. Last night it was turn of the hyped up, over excitable bunny. Damage was done, drinks were drunk, my ex was confronted and new friends were made, decent night out if you ask me.
Upon waking up my head doesn't feel too pretty and neither does my bank balance but its absolutely true when people say the unplanned and unexpected nights out are always the best. I've been out 3 weekends in a row now, shameful I know, so to make myself feel slightly better about my recent wild behavior I've compiled a short list of promises I'm making not only to myself but to the internet to ensure I have a fun night out but also that I wake up with a clear head the next day. Mostly because the hazy uncertain recollection of whether or not I gave my number to the weird guy in the red shirt is not good.
I vow
- I vow never to drink another jäger bomb ever again, they are not, I repeat, not good for you!
- I vow never to wear shoes that I can't walk in, it's a simple rule, one we follow most of our lives yet on nights out us girls make it so bloody difficult for ourselves. Stick to Flats! (Never gonna happen)
- I vow never to leave the house beforehand on an empty stomach, devouring a burger and chips at 4 in the morning is not a pretty sight nor is it a good look.
- I vow never to bring my card out with me again, I use it like there's no tomorrow, hence my spontaneous one week spending ban.
- I vow to remember that sweet, fruity, extremely alcoholic cocktails are not my friend.
- I vow to stay off my phone, that means no drunk texts to my ex, no emotional phone calls, no checking people`s snapchat stories to see if their having more fun than me and no unattractive selfies.
- I vow to drink water in between drinks, so boring and so very unrealistic but its worth a try.
- I vow to be sensible and bring a coat and scarf because whilst going home I may be slightly drunk but I am still very much capable of freezing to my near death.
- I vow to book a cab in advance to go home and sort out money before we start drinking because trying to divide fairs when extremely tired and quite frankly not in a fit state is not fun, not for you and definitely not for the cab driver.
- But finally and most importantly I vow to carry on dancing like an absolute idiot, running man and all for as long as my heart desires.
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